You’ll Be Okay: Why Your Emotions Know How to Bounce Back

Earlier this week, I shared a post about hedonic adaptation. A psychology theory about the way our brain is wired to return to a relatively stable emotional state after life’s highs and lows. It’s one of those theories that genuinely helps me trust that, no matter what happens, I’ll probably be okay.

And just to be clear: this isn’t a dismissive “you’ll be right” message that glosses over trauma, grief, or hardship. Pain is real and losses hurt. Some experiences change us forever.

This is more about understanding how our brain supports us through those experiences and how that knowledge can offer comfort rather than minimisation.

So… what is hedonic adaptation?

In short, hedonic adaptation is our brain’s tendency to emotionally “reset” after significant events.

Researchers Brickman and Campbell (1971) famously studied people who had won the lottery and others who had experienced major traumatic events, such as serious accidents. Surprisingly, after time had passed, both groups tended to return close to their original level of happiness.

That doesn’t mean the events didn’t matter. It means that our emotional system is designed to adapt.

We feel deeply… and then, gradually, our nervous system settles. If you’ve ever thought, “I never thought I’d be okay again… and yet here I am,” you’ve experienced this firsthand.

Why this is so comforting

When we worry about the future, we’re usually not worried about the event itself, we’re worried about how it will make us feel.

• What if my relationship falls apart and I end up alone?

• What if my business fails and we have to sell the house?

• What if I lose someone I love?

These things happen every day, and the world keeps spinning. It’s when we imagine them happening to us, with all the emotional attachment involved, that fear takes over.

Knowing about hedonic adaptation can help us trust our future selves a little more. It reminds us that while pain may linger for a while, there will likely come a moment when you catch yourself smiling again, often sooner than you expected.

A quick thought exercise

Think of something from your past that once felt like a really big deal.How do you feel about it now?

Chances are that the emotional heaviness has softened. This doesn’t minimise what has happened to you or how it felt back when it happened, that’s your brain doing its job.

Why evolution made our brains this way

Here’s the fascinating part, I think. This emotional bounce-back isn’t random. Evolution had a plan.

If humans stayed euphoric for too long after success, we’d get complacent. We’d stop seeking food, shelter, or growth.If we stayed devastated after setbacks, we’d give up entirely.

Neither would have helped us survive. (We’d still be living in caves, thinking animal pelts were peak comfort, clearly unaware of beanbags.)

So, our brains evolved to:

• Recover from lows, so we can try again

• Come down from highs, so we stay curious, alert, and engaged

This doesn’t mean emotions are “wrong” or ill-fitting. It means emotions are meant to be and flow

Is our happiness baseline fixed?

Not quite.

While we do seem to have a default emotional baseline, research suggests it’s possible to gently lift it over time. Not through constant positivity, but through consistent, meaningful habits.

In other words: you can work with your brain’s wiring — and even upgrade the settings a little.

5 ways to use hedonic adaptation to your advantage

1. Practise gratitude (even when it feels silly)

   Our brain gets used to good things fast. Gratitude shines a spotlight on what we might otherwise overlook.
   

2. Stretch out the joy

   When something good happens, pause. Savour it. Let it land, even if it’s just a great coffee or a quiet moment.
   

3. Pursue meaning, not just milestones

   Intrinsic goals, the ones that genuinely matter to you, tend to nourish wellbeing far more than status or prestige.
   

4. Be kind, often and without expectation

   Kindness activates reward pathways in the brain in a way that lasts longer than most external achievements.
   

5. Stay connected

   Real relationships buffer us during lows and make the highs feel richer and more meaningful.

   
   

   

So… will you be okay?

Earlier this week I said:“When the glow fades, don’t take it personally — it’s just your brain doing what evolution taught it to do.”

That’s still true.

But what’s also true is this: you’re not powerless in how you feel. By understanding your mind, shaping your habits, and trusting the process, you can live a more grounded, content, and resilient life.

So, if you’re in a rough patch, know this: the feeling is temporary. You will feel better.And if you’re having a good week — enjoy it fully. Let yourself soak it in.

Your brain knows how to bounce back. And so do you.